Spokane Area Professional Networking, Events and Business Development
My kids can ski, but they can't dance - how not to raise a prodigy
So, a bunch of us women were chatting over wine and cheese yesterday afternoon at The Kitchen Engine (you didn't ask, but I'll tell you anyways, we were at Greater Spokane Incorporated's Working Moms Wine Tasting...thanks, Latah Creek, for the wine!). The subject of what our kids were involved in came up...you know, soccer, dance, gymnastics, the usual things. I've always wondered how, as a parent, you know when to get young children involved in activities: at what level, and for how long?
I remember when my first-born was 2 1/2, someone asked me which activities she did. Activities? You mean eating, whining and not potty training aren't enough? Sheesh...
Fast-forward 2 1/2 years, and that same toddler is now a pre-schooler who's in ski lessons, along with her 3 year-old brother (he's the ski-boy; see him in action below, or on Launchpad: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KE-lvS6rrbg ).
Plus, my 3-year-old, Finley, does Soccer Tots once a week (which bears only a vague resemblence to actual soccer), and my 5-year-old, Fiona, just started Irish dance (video below, or on Launchpad):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vtnSmh6ZOYI
The point of all this, besides the chance to shamelessly share videos of my kids, is to ask: when are the little darlings just too young for a particular activity? I think my perception of kids & sports, dance, etc... has been clouded by true prodigies. You've seen the kids I'm talking about: they're 3 and 4 years old, and already, they're playing Beethoven's 5th on the piano, or doing back handsprings on the gymnastics mat.
I mean, if Fiona can't immediately dance a jig, and instead would rather pitter-pat her tiny feet all over the floor, who am I to say she'll never catch on? Maybe she'll "get it" someday. But when, after a month of dance classes, she says, 'Mommy, I don't wanna go...' maybe it's time to take a breather for a year or two.
Skiing is a different story, though. My kids beg to hit the bunny hill nearly every day. So, most weekends, we go, and I'm right there with them, smiling proudly, as only the mother of true prodigies can!
What activities are your toddlers in? :)
I remember when my first-born was 2 1/2, someone asked me which activities she did. Activities? You mean eating, whining and not potty training aren't enough? Sheesh...
Fast-forward 2 1/2 years, and that same toddler is now a pre-schooler who's in ski lessons, along with her 3 year-old brother (he's the ski-boy; see him in action below, or on Launchpad: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KE-lvS6rrbg ).
Plus, my 3-year-old, Finley, does Soccer Tots once a week (which bears only a vague resemblence to actual soccer), and my 5-year-old, Fiona, just started Irish dance (video below, or on Launchpad):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vtnSmh6ZOYI
The point of all this, besides the chance to shamelessly share videos of my kids, is to ask: when are the little darlings just too young for a particular activity? I think my perception of kids & sports, dance, etc... has been clouded by true prodigies. You've seen the kids I'm talking about: they're 3 and 4 years old, and already, they're playing Beethoven's 5th on the piano, or doing back handsprings on the gymnastics mat.
I mean, if Fiona can't immediately dance a jig, and instead would rather pitter-pat her tiny feet all over the floor, who am I to say she'll never catch on? Maybe she'll "get it" someday. But when, after a month of dance classes, she says, 'Mommy, I don't wanna go...' maybe it's time to take a breather for a year or two.
Skiing is a different story, though. My kids beg to hit the bunny hill nearly every day. So, most weekends, we go, and I'm right there with them, smiling proudly, as only the mother of true prodigies can!
What activities are your toddlers in? :)
Tags: activities, finley, fiona, greater, incorporated, kids, mom, spokane
Comment
-
Comment by Jill Skeie on February 19, 2009 at 2:30pm - Ok one of my boys thing was trumpet. 4th grade to senior in HS. He won many awards, and gained self confidence. He is definitely not afraid to go in front of a large croud by himself. That is good. Now in college, his trumped has not been out from under his dorm room bed in 6 months. :-{ He is fine with that. I think it gave him a great bunch of friends, self confidence, the ability to blend in with kids 3 or 4 grades higher than him, and real discipline to work toward Loooong range goals. He is also going to school to be an engineer in Colo. and is doing great. Hopefully this has to do some with the discipline of trumpet. By the way, we homeschooled also during elementary school. You will love it.
-
Comment by Brian Burrow on February 17, 2009 at 10:22pm -
I'm laughing at myself for taking interest in this topic as a guy but who cares. My son is 2 and 1/2 and my daughter is 11mo and my wife and I already talk about this every couple days. We see certain peers of ours who have their children's lives mapped out already in order to "give them opportunity" or really to put them through the activities that were special to them while growing up or even the activities they'd wished they could have done as a kid but these kids are going to go nuts if they keep up this pace.
We have made preparations to home school our two kids and we plan on using the various activities available for kids to give them the social side that they will miss by not being at a public school as well as to give them exercise but there is always the question of what is too much. For example, I sing and my wife plays the piano. Music will be easy to teach from a young age but I also coach wrestling and I see kids start wrestling at 5 years old. Personally, I feel that is too young especially when I see dads at the mat side yelling at their little kids but does that also mean that they are too young for soccer, football, karate, swimming, etc and where do you cross the line from encouraging them to overcome their fears and feelings of embarrassment and to keep trying to then cross over to the damaging side of hurting their self-esteem by pushing too hard or being one of those people you see vicariously, yet subconsciously, fulfilling their dreams or reliving their childhood and adolescence through the lives of their kids?
I would like to hear some input on both the short-term and long-term psychological effects of kids' activities. I guess I just love my kids too much to mess up because I was ignorant so I ask those of you who have gone before me.
-
Comment by Jill Skeie on February 16, 2009 at 7:39am
-
Ok, My kids are grown and gone. The best advice I have is one thing at a time. That means in school, they get one extra curricular sport or whatever at a time. If soccer season is over, they can choose something else. For one boy, it was usually band, but when band season was on a lull, tennis was ok. This will save your sanity as well. They will not be indulged, and not think your time is all at their disposal. (imagine if you have lots of kids! aargh)
thats my two bits.. jill
-
Comment by Dawn Picken on February 15, 2009 at 10:08am - Thanks, Mark. I need to read Gladwell's book. As someone who was hyper-scheduled with lessons and clubs and "must-do" activites growing up, I can say I'm grateful for those opportunities. However, some of my favorite childhood memories include checking out a half-dozen books from the library and spending half the day reading in the back yard. Some day, maybe my kids will want time to do the same thing!
-
Comment by Mark Pond on February 13, 2009 at 11:43pm -
Dawn --
I've often wondered the exact same things. I have a six year old and a three year old and I don't want to deprive them of experiences or enriching activities but at the same time, jeez, I think it is also really important for kids to learn to appreciate that feeling of stillness.
In terms of where to draw the line between pushing kids just a tad when needed and giving them the space and time to go look for bugs in the garden for an extended period of time, I think that you've nailed it: provide what you feel to be a reasonable level of exposure to different activities and then pay attention to see where they excel. Provide some extra support in those strong areas (like weekend trips to the slopes) and you're giving your potential prodigy all they could ask for. Probably equally important in this equation is the parents' ability to hear their tyke when they say "enough."
In Outliers, the book that I just finished reading (which I reviewed here on Launchpad), there is an extensive section on parenting that I really appreciated. I'd try to explain it but Gladwell is a far, far better writer than I could ever struggle to be so I'll leave the details to him... I'll just say that it sounds like Gladwell would approve of your approach!
Thanks for the post!
© LaunchPadINW.com is owned and operated by LaunchPad Inland Northwest, LLC
You need to be a member of LaunchPad - INW to add comments!
Join LaunchPad - INW